Difference of Opinion

I'm usually up for a good argument. I dislike it when people just agree with whatever I say and have no opinions of their own, especially in a relationship. I generally enjoy hashing it out with someone, submitting points for discussion, and of course eventually winning the argument, or being convinced that the other person is right. I like to be right, but when I'm proven wrong, then I'm wrong and I learn from it.

Recently, TBear and I had a difference of opinion that I'm not sure I can accept in the long run. Neither of us "won" the argument, which happens quite frequently in our relationship, that's not what bothers me about it. What bothers me is that he has attacked a fundamental piece of what makes me the person that I am: food.

I am a foodie, full out, I love food and I know all about it, or at least try to. I have full culinary and hospitality education...which I should mention includes courses on nutrition--both basic and advanced special dietary needs.

Contrary to what you may have heard, you can indeed trust a skinny chef. I am a skinny (soon to be) chef. My weight usually fluctuates between 120 and 140lbs throughout the year on my 5'6" frame. (120lbs in the height of summer, max 140 in the dead of winter.) Seasonal weight fluctuations are pretty normal, we tend to pack it on during the cold months when we're less active and going for all those comfort foods and shed the excess in the warmer months when we're out walking or biking and eating a lot of salad cause it's too damn hot for any real food.

Am I the picture of health? Not really. I smoke, and I don't exercise enough, and my work keeps me from eating full balanced meals every day. But hey, I eat fast food like once a month, twice tops, I rarely eat french fries and when I do make myself something to eat at work it's generally healthy (minus the big slab of cake at the end of a bad night.) I could do better, sure, but I could do a lot worse too. But I'm getting off my topic.

To summarize the disagreement between myself and TBear in regards to food:

TBear: Food is just fuel. It doesn't need to taste good. Chefs are useless and they're killing people with all the butter and salt they put into food.

Me: You're kidding, right?

Right? He's GOT to be joking. He just insulted my entire profession and the one thing that I am really freaking good at: cooking and eating food!!! But no, he wasn't joking, at all. We fought, and fought and fought over this. He says he appreciates the effort it takes to prepare food but would really prefer it if it was healthy. I cook healthy food for him all the time, but he insists that the pinch of salt in the water for the vegetables and the teaspoon of butter used to the fry the fish is going to kill him eventually. And he will not back down. Despite the fact that I'm the one with the culinary and nutritional education. Apparently the government is trying to kill us with the FOOD GUIDE and the SALT LOBBYISTS are the ones who decided what our ADI for sodium is rather than actual scientists and nutritionists.

As you can imagine, I'm quite upset about this. We fought, and it turned into a very silent ride home from the pub. The next day went pretty normal. As per usual it's been swept under the rug like it doesn't even matter because he doesn't feel that it matters.

So what am I supposed to do about this? He has insulted my passion. Something that makes me who I am. Called my profession useless (says the guy on unemployment btw) and thinks that he knows what is best for him nutritionally without any education on the subject at all.

The whole thing is festering in me right now. I want to bring it up, but I don't know what to say about it that won't elicit the same old response of "I'm sorry you feel that way." (Which I f***ing hate because it's such a total cop out, when you hurt someone's feelings the right thing to do is apologize for it not blame them for feeling that way.) If I don't bring it up I'm afraid that it will simply continue to fester and this resentment will grow until it comes out in some inappropriate way.

(Like presenting him with a can of dog food the next time he comes over for dinner while I eat my lightly salted and buttered veggies. If food is just fuel then he should be very happy with the high protein meal I have so thoughtfully prepared for him. No?)

False Start

Ok, so I haven't blogged since December. Talk about a false start. I was writing quite a bit and then I just stopped. Life is like that I guess.

Update (in case anyone cares):

Was really depressed this winter, things generally sucked.
Sucking even more--->got fired from the pub, for no fucking reason really. Might post the long-ass letter I wrote to Chef (didn't send it though just one of my therapy tactics.)

Stayed unemployed for a while, funds dwindling away.

Thought about going back east for the summer (was getting desperate.)

Found a new job at The Bistro, nice, higher-class restaurant.

Things are good at work so far, Chef likes me, tells me I do excellent work on a daily basis (ya suck it Chef from the Pub who fired me!)

Still with TBear, things are fine, though he's now the one unemployed. Seems whenever one of us is ok, the other is in the shit.

Did not graduate from college, still need one credit. Going to take the class in night school in September.

RedBull Air Races this weekend----> hello overtime!

Will try to write more, and read more.

Sex, Love and Rock 'n Roll

I've been having this ongoing conversation with G over the course of the summer. About sex, and love and how they are two different things. To me anyway.

G is the kind of girl who needs both of them at the same time. I'm the kind of girl who likes having them both at the same time, but let's be frank, sometimes you just need the sex and who gives a crap about that silly love stuff.

Sex can be awesome all on its own. Pure, amazing, no strings attached, earth shattering orgasmic sex--this is something I need on a regular basis. Its primal, that's the only way I can explain it. It's instinct, it is a need, not a want. I start to go a little batty if I don't get any for a while--and that's not fun for anyone, especially since I have no qualms about complaining about it--to everyone.

And then there's love--ah love. I love being in love. The excitement, the constant nervous energy I seem to have when it happens, the flirting, the cute things you do for each other, the confidence it brings--that knowledge that no matter what, there's at least one person that loves you and as far as they're concerned, the sun shines out of your ass.

And when you combine love and great sex, it's awesome, it's amazing, it's the best thing in the world. But sometimes, unfortunately, you don't get both at the same time. And I've learned to deal with that.

G can't deal with that. She's going batty. I feel for her. But she is the way she is and I wouldn't change her for the world, I love her for her goodness.

The unfortunate part about me and my penchant for sex is that I have to be constantly careful about getting a reputation. Our society has no problems slapping labels on girls who like sex. Slut, Whore, Tramp, Strumpet (I actually like that one), Tart (being a baker, I think that one's just cute) and various other degrading terms are thrown at anyone with the good sense to go out and get what they need and want.

I've never understood why a girl is a slut when she sleeps with alot of guys and a guy is a stud when he sleeps with a lot of girls. I think its retarded. And since I don't want to have to defend myself to the whole resort (or the world in general), I have to keep my exploits on the down-low. Which sucks sometimes (such as now) when I really want to brag about the hot piece I got the other night and how freakin' amazing it was and how I'm pretty sure I'm going to be getting it for the next two weeks until I go home. Yeah, I want to brag, but then I'll be a "slut." It doesn't matter that I've only had sex with 3 people over the last 4 months, one being the Douchebag, two being a random one nighter (wasn't that great, but it kept me sane), and three being the latest amazing night--need a nickname for this guy but can't think of anything but SexGod at the moment, and that's kinda cheezy.

So despite that I'm obviously not a slut, if I brag about my conquest then I will be labelled one. Heck, people might start to notice that I haven't been complaining about not getting laid these last few days and put it together. Not to mention the walk of shame the other morning--I hate that term too, walk of shame, as if having sex is shameful, seriously people grow up. I am now renaming the walk of shame to...oh fuck now I have to come up with something clever. SHIT! I should've thought this through better lol. Oh well it will come to me.

*sigh* I now have to go break up the toga party so I can go to sleep. Working with Snarky tomorrow at 6am, oh joy.

Addendum: Toga idiots were setting off fireworks when I went outside. Near people's cars, and 100 year old buildings. It also hasn't rained in 2 weeks. Smart people in the hotel industry eh? Evil bitchy side hopes Neanderthal blows off his freakin hand, maybe then he'll shut the F up and I can get some sleep.